I’d convinced myself to skip posting today. Here I am, third week in and I’m looking for excuses to take the day off. It’s Memorial Day, I can post tomorrow. Everyone takes today off if they can. I’m self-employed so I get to set my schedule. Sure, I promised to post every Monday (I reserve the right not to post while travelling) but what difference does one day make? Humph!
I’ve always really loved the song ‘Father and Son’ by Yusuf Islam. When I first heard it as an angsty teenager, I’d just lost my Dad right in the middle of my struggle to get him to acknowledge my fledgling adulthood and the idea behind that song felt right on target. I was the son, struggling to make my father understand me even though that was no longer an actual possibility.
Over the last decade, unnoticed at first, I’ve come to realize that I no longer identify with the son. I still feel the old ache from the missed opportunity with my Dad when I hear the song but I find myself identifying much more with the father (which just shows how brilliant the song is). Many things that used to get me fired up are now well considered after years of contemplation and I find myself possessed of almost Buddha-like patience which can, unfortunately, lead to inaction.
My point is that the voice telling me it’s ok to wait one day to post is the father in the song. He’s got a lot of valuable traits, but in this case he’s just wrong. The father perceives time as still waters extending to the horizon. The only way this whole thing is going to work is if I act like the son and see time as waves I have to hop over as they come rolling in. No time to pause, no time to think, just time to act.
If pivoting to a new career is like a rebirth, then I have to go through all the awkward stages of growing up, don’t I? The voice is saying “Just relax, take it easy.” That’s the wrong attitude for a budding career. It needs constant care and feeding. It needs the son’s passion, not the father’s experience. So though the father in me decided not to post, the son in me overrode him for once and I find that to be encouraging.
Comments